Prov. 15 v 13-22

It seemed that Tom and Mary had the perfect marriage. A friend once sought Tom’s advice. He asked, "Tom you and your wife have been married for fifty years ands yours has been a happy marriage, what has been your secret?

Tom replied, "The secret is that we have always taken time to dine out twice a week."

His friend replied, "What nights do you go out together?

A wife once said, "I owe much of my happiness in married life to two books, mother’s cookery book and daddy’s cheque book."

Whatever the reason, a happy marriage is to be much prized. Do you have a happy marriage? The Lord bless you.

God has left us three great institutions, marriage [the family], government and the church.

If families fail, all three will be affected.

At the University of Oregon one professor worked for twenty-five years studying stress and the factors, which brought stress into our lives, this is what he found.

Death of a spouse was top, followed by divorce, separation, a jail sentence, death of a close family member, illness or injury, job firing, marital difficulties and retirement.

Six out of the top seven causes relate in some way to the family. How important the family is to societies and to our own well being.

Do we need to make some home improvements?

I want now to consider marriage problems in a general way, God willing as we consider some of the participants in the home, we will look at individual areas of responsibility.

Yet for many, wedlock has become dreadlock. A marriage made in heaven has become a marriage marred by hell.

No home is exempt from problems. I just want to say that marriage just doesn’t happen and whether saved or unsaved, we all will face difficulties in life.

Consider Abraham and Sarah, think of some of the problems they encountered.

They had to move home, that was a time of upheaval.

Moving can be a stressful experience for couples, whatever the reason.

There were upheavals, hardships and there were things hard to understand.

I am sure Sarah wondered why? There surely were times when she must have questioned the Lord, why me? Impatience led to sin.

There were times of severe testing.

Genesis 22:1-2 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am. [2] And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

Families have to go through some terrible times, here was a Godly couple and look what they had to face.

Think about the Shunammite woman.

She had a wonderful home.

2 Kings 4:8 And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread.

2 Kings 4:9-10 And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. [10] Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither.

2 Kings 4:13 And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee? wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or to the captain of the host? And she answered, I dwell among mine own people.

She could have asked for anything, she was contended and happy, hers was a friendly, Godly and a happy home.

2 Kings 4:20 And when he had taken him, and brought him to his mother, he sat on her knees till noon, and then died.

Tragedy struck, –they found help in a man of God. Praise God today we can find help with the Lord Jesus Christ, as well as God’s people. Listen to the questions the mum was asked.

Why is it so important to have a happy, Godly and friendly home? It is so that when trouble comes, you know how to face it.

In the pathway ahead of us all, we will have to face many hurdles and obstacles. It can be very difficult but if our home life is not in order, it will be nearly impossible.

What is your marriage like today? Do you see how important it is to have a strong home base?

Consider some of the words we find in Proverbs fifteen.

Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 15:15 All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.

Proverbs 15:16 Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.

Proverbs 15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Does any of these words ever describe your married or home life?

Is your home a contented one?

Proverbs 15:16-17 Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith. [17] Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Is there communication in the home?

Do you live in a home where problems are talked through and sorted out?

Can’t you see some of the problems in our homes?

Sorrow, affliction, strife, hatred and disappointment, no joy, no contentment and no communication.

As I look at some of the reasons for marriage difficulties, I had to be honest before God and admit that I have been and perhaps sometimes still am guilty. Will you also make that personal admission?

A preacher was once asked about his marriage had he ever considered divorce? He said, "No, but I have thought about murder a few times."

Perhaps you started out as a couple together determined to give the Lord his rightful place. Prayer is now neglected, reading the word of God is rare, and attendance at the meetings is irregular or perhaps just mechanical. That backslidden condition in time will expose you to dangers, danger that could affect the happiness in your home.

I want to consider some of the causes of our marriage difficulties, this is not an not exhaustive list.

Let us ask about your love life?

This verse speaks of Israel being portrayed as an unfaithful wife, no thought for the husband, only interested in her self.

Notice what concerns her in this verse, my bread, water, wool, flax, oil and drink. It’s my –my- my.

Selfishness will cause strife in the home.

Consider Eve.

Eve took what she wanted; it didn’t matter who it hurt or who it offended. Here is selfishness, what was the result?

Genesis 3:12-13 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. [13] And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Genesis 3:16-17 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. [17] And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

1 Tim. 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Society and the media teaches us that the route to happiness is found in things, the more we have the happier we will be, bigger car, nicer homes and a beautiful wardrobe. Is it your love of things that causes hardship and difficulty in the home?

So much money is needed for luxuries that you spend less and less time together, no time for family and children. You are too much interested in things.

Consider Rachel, she was discontented, she wanted a child. When God granted her request, we read.

Genesis 30:24 And she called his name Joseph; and said, The Lord shall add to me another son.

She wanted more. We also read that she stole the images.

Genesis 31:19 And Laban went to shear his sheep: and Rachel had stolen the images that were her father's.

She wanted more, even if it came at the expense of those she loved.

2 Tim. 3:4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Some people who get married don’t want to have to give up somethings they enjoyed in their single life. You don’t want marriage to be more restrictive and less fun. Spiritual well being is neglected for the pursuit of pleasure.

The love of another.

Love life, also the little things, can cause problems.

Song 2:15 Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.

Little things if not sorted can become big and cause problems.

Song 3:1 By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

Spending too much time apart can cause difficulties.

Song 5:3 I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?

Marriage problems, will we have that personal admission?

Exodus 21:5 And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free:

Do you love the master? Then love for your wife and family will follow naturally.

Let’s see the great source of help that we, as God’s people, have for all our marriage difficulties.

Come to the marriage at Cana.

John 2:1 And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:

What a happy occasion the third day would remind us that this was a new beginning.

Think of your own situation, without any effort you were happy, joyful and really loving each other. Just to be with each other was enough, nothing else was needed.

John 2:3 And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.

No wine! It ran out, they didn’t expect it, they didn’t notice it happening, all of a sudden the occasion was flat, dead, joyless, no vitality. It became dreary and boring.

Does this describe you? Has your marriage lost its sparkle?

What would the servants do in this case?

Go and buy some wine, that’s what some of God’s people try and do, find help in the world for their difficulties. Why do we always want to go for second best?

They were pointed to the Lord, whatsoever he saith unto you do it.

They followed the Lord’s instructions and there was plenty of sparkle back in the occasions.

They did exactly and completely, what the Lord said. Dear believer, have you trouble in your home? Listen to what the Lord says and do it?

John 2:10 And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

It was even better than it had been before. The Lord can turn it around, the Lord can help you have that marriage that you so desire, that you so deserve.

What is the Lord saying to you? Have you drifted away from him?

Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.