It would be nice to be able to speak about something much more encouraging, it would be much easier to ignore what we have to look at today. I have to confess when I considered a series on the family I had no intention of looking at this thorny issue.

It is easy to take that ostrich approach, bury our head in the sand, but what does the word of God say?

I hope to accomplish a few things with this message. I want the young to know, what saith the scriptures, nothing else matters; this is our sole authority, the word of God.

I want those of us who are married to realise afresh God’s will, His plan and His design. Has modern approaches to the subject of divorce made it more or less likely?

I want those who find themselves in this position, not to be discouraged, embarrassed, just hear what God, the Lord would say to us , and remember, there’s mercy with the Lord.

Divorce is a sad reality; the Bible doesn’t try and ignore its existence.

We find the words, divorce, divorcement, and ‘putting away’ appearing in scripture, the Bible nowhere tries to hide from the sad reality.

We cannot hide from this sad reality.

The number of weddings in the UK has fallen by 20% in ten years [279000 in 1996- 348000 1986] yet divorce has risen. It is reckoned now that two in five marriages in the UK will end in divorce.

Such is the pressure on the legal system they have pushed for and attained the quickie divorce, no cause is needed, just a period of separation.

Legally, divorce has been simplified, morally, it is accepted as a part of life, but what about scripture? Does the word of God have to bow to the pressure of time?

I think we all must agree that divorce is a sad reality.

This surely increases the confusion among those who are earnestly seeking for God’s word on the matter.

So I think we have no problem agreeing to the sad reality of divorce and the division it causes among God’s people.

Let us see the reason behind the question the Lord was asked in Matthew 19.

Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

Notice their motive was to tempt the Lord, to trick the Lord, to satisfy their own carnal desires. Sadly that is the approach of many on this issue.

Will you come to the word of God with an open mind? Will you come with the true desire to seek God’s will on the matter?

The Lord is speaking to the Pharisees, his fiercest enemies, and he explains that because of the hardness of their hearts Moses permitted divorce.

This is the same incident found in Matthew’s gospel, notice there is no mention of divorce from the Lord, he again confirms that God’s intention from the beginning was permanence.

Next comes a private question from the disciples, this occurs in a home.

Can anything be clearer that this statement?

Jesus also brings "the wife" in here in Mark’s gospel.

This is significant, as we shall see later, Mark’s gospel was written with the Romans in mind, they allowed the women to divorce their husbands, the Holy Spirit includes it here. In Matthew’s gospel, in the so-called exclusion clause women are not mentioned.

Let’s move into Luke’s gospel, written with Gentiles in mind.

Here again the Lord Jesus makes it very clear, divorce and remarriage are wrong.

Look into Paul’s writings, remember, his epistles were written with the Church in view.

Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

What if she remarries while her husband is alive? Can we doubt what Paul means here?

What did Paul say in 1 Cor?

1 Cor. 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

What about some whom are married to unbelievers?

1 Cor. 7:12-13 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1 Cor. 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

If the unbeliever insists in divorcing you, well then there is nothing you can do about it. Does this mean then you are free to remarry?

Considering what Paul said in verse 11 and what he further says in v39.

1 Cor. 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Paul viewed marriage as being permanent, would he look at some marriages as being less permanent? I don’t think Paul would have such double standards.

Ephes. 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: [30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. [31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Notice that Paul describes the union between the saved and Christ as being symbolised in the marriage bond.

We are married to Christ. Can that marriage ever be broken?

In this symbolic reference, do we not see again stressed, the permanency of marriage?

We already have noticed that the Pharisee’s motive was to tempt the Lord. Marriage had greatly deteriorated, divorce was being permitted for almost every reason, if your wife was a bad cook you could get a divorce and remarry.

So the Pharisees came with this prejudice, living in a modern world they said.

What they were simply saying was, is divorce a matter of having the right paper work?

Matthew 19:4-5 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, [5] And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Jesus goes back to the origin of marriage. God made no allowance for divorce, marriage even preceded sin. It is sin that causes divorce, lust, greed, selfishness and hatred

Malachi 2:16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

God hates divorce. The unchanging God.

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

What did Jesus mean by this statement? Did he mean marriage was permanent and divorce was not permitted? Consider the Pharisee’s response.

The disciples knew the stand Jesus was talking, look at their response, they are astounded.

If it is permanent and there is no divorce and remarriage, they suggest that you would be better off not marrying at all.

Matthew 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Notice what they said, "Moses commanded," they credit Moses with divorce.

Jesus states, Moses didn’t command it, he suffered it, and he permitted it. God permitted Moses to do this. Would God? Would Moses permit something that God was against?

There is a law regulating a man with two wives. Would God encourage this? Could we say God is happy for us to have two wives? No he was regulating for an existing pagan practise.

The fact that God allowed Moses to permit this does not mean that God support or endorses it.

What was the reason?

Because of the hardness of their hearts. The only reason for the divorce, which Moses permitted, but didn’t condone, was because of hardhearted backslidden Israelites.

Now do we as Christians want to take as the norm the law permitted for backslidden Jews? Surely we would not look to such a law for our everyday use.

Look again, from the beginning, it was not so.

Here we now come to the famous exclusion clause, found here and in Matthew 5.

Notice only in Matthew’s gospel, the gospel to the Jews, this is not the rule for Christians living in the age of grace.

Do we want to take the law on what we are allowed to eat?

Luke 20:28 Saying, Master, Moses wrote unto us, If any man's brother die, having a wife, and he die without children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.

Is that law for today? Do we want to cherry pick the Bible?

We have considered many scriptures, there is a principle in Bible study that we should adhere too. A principle shall not be established on an isolated passage that seems to contradict the clear teaching of scripture elsewhere, those who seek for a loophole here, show evidence of hard hearts.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Two words appear in this verse which need some consideration, they are fornication and adultery.

Are they the same?

Fornication is the word porneia, which is any sexual sin. When adultery and fornication are used together, would that not indicate that there is a difference in their usage?

Fornication in that case must mean sex before marriage. Fornication was used in that sense in scripture, consider the following two examples.

John 8:41 Ye do the deeds of your father. Then said they to him, We be not born of fornication; we have one Father, even God.

1 Cor. 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Adultery is sex after marriage and outside the marriage bond.

What according to the Old Testament was the punishment for adultery?

Did the Jews of the New Testament know this was the punishment for adultery?

They knew that for this sin, under the law, death was the penalty.

What is the sin of fornication then spoken of by Jesus in Matthew 19?

Remember the Jewish weddings were different to our weddings.

The boy would go the door of his bride to be and offer marriage terms with her father. If the father agreed they would seal the contract with a class of wine. The boy would say I go to prepare a place for you and so on. He then would return home and prepare a bridal chamber for his new bride to be. Approx. one year later he would return for his bride.

If during that year or so of espousal, the bride was unfaithful there was a law covering this sin.

Deut. 22:13-14 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, [14] And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

Under the law if she were innocent the marriage would go ahead, if guilty she would suffer death.

Now lets look at Duet 24, this appears to be the same situation but with a different approach.

Deut. 24:1-4 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. [2] And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. [3] And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; [4] Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

This is the law referred to by the Pharisees, it seem that the husband could put her away privately. Instead of public humiliation and death he could end it with a divorce.

Matthew 1:19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Let me ask this question, has the stand taken by some on marriage, by allowing divorce and remarriage, made marriage more secure or less?

Marriage is truly until death us do part, that which dilutes this in any way is not of the Lord.

What do we do about this problem? As we reach into an area where this is so common, as we find God’s people evermore being open to these terrible situations, what should our approach be?

I believe we must have standards, a church that stands for nothing will fall for anything.

We are going to have to encounter some from unsaved backgrounds, others from saved backgrounds who have through ignorance or rebellion found themselves with mixed up and complex situations.

For those from unsaved backgrounds, we can point them to His precious blood.

We can rejoice when they find the Saviour, should they then split up from their second marriage? I believe that would only make things worse. Praise God for his complete forgiveness.

1 Cor. 7:20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

What about believers? Elders need prayer to make the right decisions, but as we read through scripture we see a God who wants to bring people in, not shut them out.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

It was said of Christ.

John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

Notice full of grace and truth, grace comes first.

It may appear from this article that I take a very hard line, I believe it is scriptural, but I also believe we as believers need to deal with victims of these terrible situations, sensitively and graciously never harshly.