Several years ago the Saturday Evening Post published an article called The Seven Ages of the Married Cold, it reveals the actions of a husband to a wife’s cold during their first seven years of marriage.

The first year, sugar dumpling I’m really worried about my baby girl. You’ve got a bad sniffle; I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general check up.

The second year, listen darling I don’t like the sound of that cough, I called Doc Miller and asked him to rush over here now, you go to bed like a good girl please, just for papa.

The third year, maybe you’d better lie down honey, nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy, I’ll bring you something to eat. Have you any canned soup?

The fourth year, now look dear, you better be sensible, after you’ve fed the kids, washed the dishes and finished the floor you better lie down.

The fifth year, why don’t you take a couple of aspirins.

The sixth year, I wish you’d just gargle something instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal.

The seventh year, for Pete’s sake would you stop sneezing are you trying to give me pneumonia?

Perhaps we can identify somewhat with this humorous story.

Are you still treating the woman you married the same way when you dated her? Or is it like catching a bus once you’ve got it you stop running?

Remember the girl who said, "My boyfriend spends so much money on me I wish I knew how to stop him." To which her friend replied, " Marry him, then it will stop!"

Men run a greater risk of being murdered assaulted and robbed. Is it really a man’s world?

What we need however are real men.

Genesis 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

Was Adam with Eve when Satan tempted her? What if he had opened his mouth? He wasn’t fulfilling his headship role.

Here we have it stated quite clearly that the husband is the head of the wife. Who is he compared to? Christ, who is the head of the church.

Headship is not dictatorship, headship brings with it responsibility. Many men do not want the responsibility, but they are responsible under God for the wellbeing of their wives and families.

Your wife’s happiness and emotional security in life rests almost entirely upon you.

What a statement, what a responsibility, are you man enough for it?

Most of the onus is on the man. Some read Eph. 5 and think the woman get it tough. There is a greater responsibility placed upon the husband.

The husband is the head of the wife. Christ is the head of the church. It’s from Christ the church receives its guidance and direction in spiritual matters, likewise the husband should be the spiritual leader in the home.

This does not mean that he bosses or lords over his wife. A head will not direct a hand to put itself in the fire, the head will be the eyes to look out for, the ears to listen out for dangers and the mouth to defend and warn.

For a husband to be the spiritual head of the home, he needs to earn his wife’s respect. He should mirror Christ in the eyes of the wife. No Christian wife would have difficulty respecting that kind of husband as her head.

It is difficult for a husband to seek submission from his wife when he has failed to earn her respect as one who has her spiritual wellbeing at heart.

As we consider the responsibility of the husband we will see how he earns that respect of the wife, how he can truly be called the head of the home.

In 1992 hurricane Andrew hit southern Florida. 12 billion dollars damage was caused. 50 people died and thousands were left homeless.

A TV crew came to a neighbourhood where only one house remained standing. They interviewed the dad. This is what he had to say, " I built the house myself and when the Florida State reg. Said 2x6 roof trusses I used them. The regulations said that then the house could withstand a hurricane. I followed the rules and my house stood firm, others took shortcuts.

Are you building your home according to God’s standards? We need to if we want it to stand firm.

We are considering how a husband can expect to be called and respected as head of the house.

• Do you show interest in your wife?

Let’s read from 1 Peter, it is interesting that Abraham and Sarah are the examples given by Peter.

There was the Hagar affair and the child who wasn’t Sarah’s, they had problem children, Isaac and Ishmael, they were always on the move, Abraham was guilty of dishonesty, yet there was that commitment and desire to make the marriage work.

It is not love that keeps a marriage together it is your marriage keeps your love together, it takes commitment to make it work.

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Notice it says, "According to knowledge". How well do you know your wife?

Do we really listen? Husbands show interest in your wives. How well do you know them?

• We should be inoffensive towards our wives.

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Scripture describes the wife as the weaker vessel. Does that mean she is worth less?

Which is more valuable? A steel pot which is strong, or a ming vase?

The wife is weaker emotionally, physically, physiologically and must be handled with care.

Remember how easily they hurt.

Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

• We should show our wives how important they are.

Your wife should be no. 1 in your life. She is the one you want to be with. She is the one whom you call before you arrive home just to say you were missing her. She is the one you go to when you come through the front door and greet her with a kiss just that she might know, she is no 1.

Of the six billion people on planet earth she is your number one. Do you make her feel that important?

So important that you want to spend time with her?

‘Dwell with them’ that means more than sharing the same home. It surely means being with each other, spending time together. Husbands do you make time for your wives?

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

‘Giving honour’, one of the most repulsive things is to hear any man run down his wife. It is even more repulsive for someone to do it publicly.

Is she no 1? Do you spend time with her? Do you honour her?

This is the sort of man that wives have no problem submitting too.

This is the sort of husband that wives find it easy to recognise his headship in the home.

How important is she? Do you protect her?

We should protect our wives like we would protect our own bodies. We cloth ourselves, we feed ourselves, we would make sure that we avoided danger and we certainly wouldn’t want to hurt ourselves.

• Do you take the initiative with your wife?

Ephes. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Men are to be proactive, woman reactive.

Men take the initiative, woman respond.

Who took the initiative in your salvation?

Remember husbands; love your wives as Christ loved the church.

We love him, why? Because he first loved us.

Do you involve your wives?

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Heirs together of the grace of this life. Is there communication in the home?

Since you have inherited this life together, fulfil it together, talk, commune and share together. Your wife should be your closest friend, closest confidant.

• Are you intimate with your wife?

Ephes. 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Nourish means to feed and provide.

Cherish means to warm with body heat, to really care about your wife.

Hannah’s husband was concerned at the tears and heartbreak of his wife.

Most of all when we think of intimacy, we must come to the most important factor of all.

Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. What a challenge to husbands.

We need to love sacrificially.

Sometimes we love conditionally, love if _ _ _.

We need to love sacrificially.

It is not infatuation, which is feelings; the word used is agape, the highest love attainable, the love, which Christ has for the church.

Selfless quality that seeks the good of its object even at personal cost it is action not feelings.

Remember how he stooped down and washed their feet it was action not feelings.

When was the last time you made a sacrifice for your wife?

When we consider that Christ came from Heaven’s glory, he died on a cruel cross for guilty sinners like us. How much do we really love our wives? Sacrificially, are we prepared to put her interests first?

Is there a time when Jesus doesn’t love us?

Song 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

Romans 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

What women need is stability, constant and consistent love from their husbands.

Love for no one else, eyes only for your wife.

Christ’s love is eternal, from everlasting to everlasting.

• We need to exercise the correct influence over our wives.

What influence should we have on our wives?

Look at the glorious purpose of Christ’s love, to present to God, the church without blemish and without spot. How is this accomplished?

Husbands likewise, should have as their goal to make their wives more Christ like, that they might grow in grace and that the gifts they possess may develop.

Husbands you are responsible for your wives spiritual well being, they are the weaker vessel spiritually.

1 Cor. 14:34-35 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. [35] And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Husbands, it is your responsibility to teach your wife.

How much time do you put into your wives spiritual well being?

Husbands, the word of God has much to say to us.

Do you value your wife?

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

1 Peter 1:18-19 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; [19] But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

Husbands value your wives.

Husband means "the band of the house," the one who keeps it together.

Like a band on a sheaf of corn, let’s make sure we keep things together in our homes and not have all spread out in an unruly mess.

We can be hypocrites in the church and at work, but not at home.

If your Christianity doesn’t work in the home it doesn’t work, don’t export it. - Howard Hendrix.

Do we need to make some home improvements?