I want to consider the Christian wife and what the bible has to say about a wife.

Ephes. 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

I don’t think any of us would have bother with Christ being the head of the church.

Christ is the head of the church; it is to His authority that we bow.

But perhaps some have difficulty with the headship of man over the woman.

This is God’s divine order; headship has been given to the man.

1 Tim. 2:11-15 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. [12] But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

The women are not to occupy the teaching roles within a church it is given to the men.

[13] For Adam was first formed, then Eve. [14] And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. [15] Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Two reasons are given in this passage.

1. The Priority of man’s creation, man was made first and the firstborn had the double portion.

2. The properties of men and woman are different. Eve was deceived, woman are called the weaker vessel, more vulnerable spiritually.

1 Cor. 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

3. The process of creation the woman came from the man.

4. The purpose of creation the woman was made for the man. She was to be his helpmeet, his helper. That doesn’t mean any thing derogatory as God is spoken of as our helper.

Is Christ inferior to God? Certainly not.

A business needs a head, a country needs a head, a church needs a head and every home needs a head, that position is given to the husband.

Unless wives will recognise the headship of man in the home then their marriage and their relationship will be on very shaky ground.

There is no difference when it comes to grace.

But there is a difference when it comes to place.

1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

The word ‘fit’ in the Old Testament is a legally binding word. It is legally proper for you to do so.

Submission is as unto the Lord. It is as if the Lord is standing here saying, submit to my authority.

The headship of the man is empty if the wife doesn’t submit to it.

The word submission is the Greek word, hupotasso, it means to arrange under. It was used of military rank; it is a recognising of authority, lining up under.

Paul doesn’t speak of children and slaves submitting, their position is not voluntary. The wife has accepted this man as her husband this should involve submission.

Wives are not slaves, they are not there for bossing around, "Get me this, get me that." The secret to a happy and lasting marriage is in the relationship, not the roles. Husbands being the head, loving their wives. Wives submitting to their husbands, recognising his headship. This brings harmony in the home.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

The words obey not the word, imply someone who is not only unsaved but even detests listening to the word of God. What does Peter say? Submit.

If the Wife fails to recognise the headship and fails to submit, it will cause strife in the home

• Her relationship with her husband will be affected.

• Her children may be affected, as there is no proper chain of command. A wife will not be able to exercise authority when she has failed to recognise it.

• Her self-will is affected. She will feel isolated, as she doesn’t look to her head. Sadly it is a sign of her spiritual walk being wrong.

If you fail to recognise the headship of the man, you have failed to recognise the Lordship of Christ in your life.

This is God’s organisation for the home. Will a train run smoothly if it is not on track? This is God’s track for a smooth running, God glorifying home.

Peter gives us a look at the beauty of a Christian wife.

Here again are instructions on how husbands are to be won by their wives. Surely this is good instruction for all Christian wives.

This woman doesn’t major on the externals. The words used would indicate a hairdo that takes ages to prepare, extravagant, dripping with gold. A Christian wife shouldn’t major on the externals.

Modest means well-arranged orderly dress.

Shamefacedness indicates moral revulsion at that which is unseemly.

1 Tim. 2:9-10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; [10] But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

Here sobriety means sound judgement.

Where does real beauty some from?

Peter reminds us that outward beauty fades with time but the beauty of a meek and quiet spirit is not corruptible.

A gentle and quiet woman not abrasive, not domineering, not loud.

The scriptures exhort women to adorn themselves in godliness with a gentle and quiet spirit.

A Christian wife’s beauty should be seen in her godliness and meek and gentle spirit.

Someone has said, "Take an hour off your hair and put it into the study of the word of God."

I want to consider some passages that look at good and bad behaviour for women.

The context here is widows receiving financial help from the church. Certain standards must be met, here is an example of what the early church expected from a wife.

1 Tim. 5:10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.

We see a caring, sharing and loving person.

Now let’s look at some downers.

Here the younger widows are in view but again this applies to all.

1 Tim. 5:13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

Idle.

This behaviour is not in keeping with your profession as a Christian wife.

What is the positive here?

The wife should guide the house, the man rules but the wife administers.

Notice that the testimony is affected if the wife runs about gossiping and sticking her nose in where it is not welcome.

This list speaks for itself.

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [5] To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1. Love their husbands.
2. Love their children.
3. Discreet, self controlled.
4. Chaste, pure from carnality in looks, speech and dress.
5. Keepers at home, fulfilment of home duties.
6. Good, kind.
7. Obedient to their own husbands.

The word of God has in Proverbs 31, what some call the ideal wife.

I think about the man who said to the minister, "Are you sure we got a marriage licence, for I have had a dog’s life since."

Let’s see the ideal wife.

Proverbs 31:10

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:11

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Proverbs 31:12

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:13-14

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. [14] She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

Proverbs 31:15

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

Proverbs 31:16

She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:17

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

Proverbs 31:20-22

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. [21] She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. [22] She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

Proverbs 31:23

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Proverbs 31:29-30 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. [30] Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

There is the ideal wife.

Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Proverbs 31:1-2 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. [2] What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

May our families be like the book of Proverbs, encircled by a mum and dad that are what God desires them to be.