There was a little boy who expressed great concern about his parents. He told of how his father worked hard to provide for all of his needs and how his mother slaved around the house, cooking and cleaning up after him and taking care of him when he was sick. When asked what he had to be worried about he said, "I am afraid that they might escape!"

Perhaps many of us can sympathise with this attitude when we consider what our parents had to put up with. Most people believe we have now come to a division in the Ten Commandments.

The first four dealing with our relationship with God the other six deals with our relationship with mankind.

Others feel that this commandment should be included with our relationship with God. There is good reason for this.

Matthew 6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

A child’s first concept of God is what he sees in his parents. The parents are the lawgivers, the lovers, the protectors and those who care for him. His first concept of God is seen in his parents.

Malachi 1:6 A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear? saith the Lord of hosts unto you, O priests, that despise my name. And ye say, Wherein have we despised thy name?

Whatever view you hold this commandment is central to the other.

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Deut. 30:15-16 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil; [16] In that I command thee this day to love the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the Lord thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

Why does the blessing of The Fifth commandment also accompany all the commandments as found in Deut. chapter thirty?

The laws of God are to be conveyed to subsequent generations primarily from parent to children.

The Importance Of The Fifth Commandment.

• The privilege of a family.

God has given us the blessing of families and within our families we find much help and encouragement.

There is economic help, our needs are met within our families. As parents provide for their children things like clothing, food and security.

There is emotional help. Within our family there is a sense of identity and a sense of belonging. What a benefit this is, when you consider even the relationships within a home, parents, children, brothers, sisters and even the wider family circle. There is emotional help within our homes.

There is educational help. As we teach each other within the home. What a blessing to have parents pass on their experience to their children.

There is also a spiritual dimension to be seen.

• The Pressure on the family.

Families are becoming more and more pressurised and many of the benefits seem to be lost in this day and age.

The television has replaced communication within the home. Many of the children are now learning about things their parents don’t understand and there is the tendency among some of the children to see their parents as out of date and irrelevant.

Relationships within the home are not what they used to be, children now look to others for help and advice and very often ignore parental help. Much of the pop culture encourages rebellion against authority.

Divorce means that family units are being broken up. Sometimes children have to honour one parent and perhaps are taught to despise the other. Physciatrists try and blame practically every fault they find in their client on their parents. Instead of honouring parents some lie on a couch in front of their physciatrist and blame them.

Against the background of the deterioration of respect for authority and the difficulties in maintaining a stable family life, we come to the fifth commandment. Surely this commandment which was repeated in the New Testament by Jesus and by Paul is one that needs to be applied once again.

We are to honour and respect the government of the day.

Peter 2:13-14 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; [14] Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.

We are to honour and respect pastors or elders.

1 Tim. 5:17 Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

We are to honour all men.

1 Peter 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

If we cannot give honour to our parents and we do not obey our parents the closest and most intimate relationship of all. How can we expect honour for the government, the church or anyone else?

If you find a child with no respect for authority in the classroom then he will have none in the workplace, none for the laws of the land and sadly it is unlikely that he will ever honour the Lord.

Proverbs 3:9 Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:

• The parents in the family.

There is something in this commandment for parents. If parents are to be honoured then it is expected that they are worthy of being honoured. What makes parents worthy of being honoured?

The University of Chicago did a survey to discover the clearest teachings or impressions concerning religion and morality upon young people. The majority said it was mealtime conversations in the home.

Someone described children like a diamond in the hands of a parent. Parents have an opportunity to write something on that diamond something that will always be there. What impression are we having on our children?

Do we show our children faithfulness?

A young child can spot a sham easier than you might imagine. They can spot a fake very quickly.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Christ must be central to the home and he must have the pre-eminence.

Reading the word of God and praying together are clear signs that God is important in your life. A family that prays together stays together.

Do we show our children faultfinding?

Ephes. 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Col. 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

If they get C’s we want A,s . It was said that Europeans will look at a child’s homework and say, " you got one wrong," while Americans will say, "You got nine right."

If we show them criticism we will teach them how to condemn.

If we show them hostility we will teach them how to fight.

If we show them shame we will teach them guilt.

If we show them tolerance we will teach them patience.

If we show them praise we will teach them appreciation.

If we show them security we will teach them trust.

Do we show them favouritism?

Genesis 37:3-4 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. [4] And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

Do we show them fairness?

Scripture instructs us to discipline our children.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

We find parents moving between the two extremes of severe discipline and excess liberty.

Children need parameters, they need rules to make them feel secure and loved even if they don’t appreciate or recognise it. Fairness must be applied.

Do we show them foolishness?

Do we indulge in name calling?

1 Samuel 20:30 Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother's nakedness?

Do we ask them to do something outside the will of God?

1 Samuel 20:31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.

Do we falsely accuse them?

1 Samuel 20:33-34 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David. [34] So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and did eat no meat the second day of the month: for he was grieved for David, because his father had done him shame.

May God help us to show our children The Lord Jesus Christ at all times.

We have considered the parent’s responsibility with this Commandment, but the children also have a responsibility. Only perfect children can expect perfect parents. I don’t believe there are either.

Parents have given us the gift of life by bringing us into this world. They didn’t choose nor did we pick them, it was God’s sovereign choice.

Parents provide our needs they love for us, care for us and pray for us.

Our parents have travelled the road of life. Can you imagine your dad on a long journey, he spots some trouble on the road and calls back to advice you of some area to avoid. That’s what parents do they have travelled the road of life and we have the benefit of their experience.

Many are like a little girl I read about. She was very unhappy because her parents had refused her wishes. That evening her mother was amused to hear her pray, "Please, Lord, don't give her any more children; she doesn't know how to treat the ones she's got now!"

The attitude of children toward their parents changes, as they grow older. During the teen years especially, some young people show little respect for their fathers and mothers. It’s disheartening to see this. But as those young teenagers mature, they begin to recognise that mom and dad knew a lot more than they gave them credit for.

Mark Twain once said, "When I was 14 years old, my father was so ignorant I hated to have the old man around. But when I was 21 years old, I was astonished to see how much my father had learned in only 7 years."

I think we go through about four stages as far as our parents go.

We idolise them there is no one like mama and papa. Then we demonise them they won’t let me go here, go there, do this or that. Then we utilise them, can I borrow the car daddy? Then we humanise them. When we become parents we realise what it cost them to bring us up and how much love care and attention and how much of their lives they devoted to us.

Why should we honour and obey our parents?

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Deut. 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Because it is right.

Ephes. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Col. 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

The word, "honour" means to reverence, it means to give weight to. As young people this involves obedience.

Ephes. 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

There should be obedience to parents. A disobedient child brings dishonour upon the parent. Young people need to obey their parents. There will be a time when you leave home set up house and your own chain of authority is set up. Then you don’t have to obey your parents. But you must always honour them.

How then do we honour them?

We honour them by obeying God. There is no greater honour can be conferred upon a mum or dad than to have their family obeying the Lord.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

As you get older and your parents get older. You can honour them by providing for them.

1 Tim. 5:4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

A story is told of a couple who had two children and a grandparent living with them.

At times granddad was sloppy at the table so they set him away on his own. He only got worse and worse and they took away his knife and fork and put his food in a trough, humiliating granddad even further.

One day the parents noticed the children playing in the shed.

"What are you doing?" They asked.

"We are making a trough for you when you get older," came back the reply.

Parents should be obeyed when we are younger, supported when we are older but honoured at all times.

"But you don’t know my mum and dad. They are not worthy of honour," some might say. When you walk into a courtroom and say, "Your honour," you know nothing about the man but you honour the position.

How series a matter is it?

Matthew 15:3-6 But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? [4] For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. [5] But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; [6] And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

The Lord told these Pharisees that they were hypocrites. Because they were putting duty to God before honouring parents. It was a sham of course.

Disobedience to parents is shown as a sign of the last days.

2 Tim. 3:1-2 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. [2] For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Disobedience to parents is listed as one of the vilest sins.

Romans 1:30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Deut. 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

It merited the death penalty in the Old Testament. God views disobedience to parents as a serious sin.

Deut. 27:16 Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.

Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

• The promise to the family.

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Ephes. 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. [2] Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) [3] That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

There is great blessing in obeying your parents and in honouring them.

To the children of Israel long life was promised. Even today we can see that those who are disobedient and rebellious will have habits in their lives that will lead to shortness of life. That doesn’t mean that every young Christian who dies were disobedient. Think of Christ, he died as a young man and yet was perfectly obedient.

There is a real blessing in honouring your parents.

Proverbs 6:20-22 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: [21] Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. [22] When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.

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Night and day you shall be watched over what a blessing.

Consider some examples of honouring your father and your mother.

Joseph was exalted in the land but he bowed in the presence of his father.

Genesis 48:12 And Joseph brought them out from between his knees, and he bowed himself with his face to the earth.

We are exhorted to fear our parents and to show them reverence and obedience.

Leviticus 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.

Even though David had been anointed king, he still obeyed his father in tending the sheep.

1 Samuel 16:19 Wherefore Saul sent messengers unto Jesse, and said, Send me David thy son, which is with the sheep.

Wise king Solomon showed respect to his mother.

1 Kings 2:19 Bath-sheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother; and she sat on his right hand.

We honour our parents by heeding their counsel.

Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

We honour our parents by speaking well of them. The greatest example of all if found in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Luke 2:51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.

Jesus showed perfect obedience to his parents.

Jesus showed perfect obedience to his heavenly father.

John 8:29 And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.

What about caring for his mother?

John 19:26-27 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! [27] Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

What an example we have in the Lord Jesus Christ. He honoured his mother surely there is no greater example.

• The potential for the family.

What a potential a Godly family has. Children who honour their mums and dads are a great testimony in this dark world of sin as are fathers and mothers who love the saviour.

In the magazine ‘Christianity today’ the following statistics were published. A survey of church members.

5 % don’t exist

10% couldn’t be found.

25 % never attended church.

75 % never attend a church Bible study or prayer meeting.

50% have no missionary interest.

90 % have no united family worship.

What potential is being lost in our homes.

The Christian family should be an example to those outside the church. The caring relationship between them should reach others. We could become an untold blessing to others.

A man took his wife and son to a lake area for a vacation, while mum fixed a meal the father and the son set sail on the lake adjoining. Darkness and mist descended but mum had placed a light in the window.

"Son, I am going to row but you keep your eye on the light and guide me." Said Dad.

They arrived home safely and the young boy said, "Mum we came home safely because we were steered by your light."

Will our children reach heaven because they were steered by our light?

Will others reach heaven because of the light in our home?

Email Pastor Ian Wilson


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